My Focus and Approach

Below are some of the main reasons why people come to me, as well as some of the approaches we might take together to aid in healing and cultivating wellness.

  • Relationships

    Chances are, most of us have experienced ecstasy and pain when it comes to other humans, and chances are pretty good we will do so repeatedly throughout our lives. A healthy relationship doesn’t mean we will always be the same as our partner, friend, parent, or child. Rather, a healthy relationship looks like two or more people sharing a commitment to the well-being of themselves, the other, and the relationship itself. In this way, relationships are an ever-evolving, reciprocal dance. They are the main vehicle through which we learn our own healthful power, empathy for another, and belonging in this world. Relationships are also the main site of our wounding.

    Our relationship with ourself is the bedrock of our relationship with others. To engage in authentic, harmonious, and connected relationships, we must learn to bring these same qualities to our inner experience. Having close relationships is so great and so tough because the relationship frequently pushes up against the most intimate and historical parts of us. We might feel anxiety, or a desire to flee, or a sense of mistrust, inadequacy, or competition.

    Inner work helps build intimacy, discernment, and a greater connection to our needs, boundaries, hopes, and hurts. Nervous system regulation, communication skill-building, exploring personality structures, and many other practices help us to be in relationships that feel authentic and healthful.

  • Spirituality

    Spirituality often exists in the context of a religious framework, but often it does not. A relationship with spirit can unfurl previously overlooked connections between us and the rest of the living world. Inner work typically goes hand in hand with a growing interest in spirituality, because for many it is through exploring our own minds and hearts that we find greater connection and commitment to the whole. While spiritual experiences can bring beauty and peace, they can also bring confusion and distress. Mysteriously, life will offer us many opportunities to contact the whole spectrum of our humanness. Spirituality asks us to be truly present for the journey.

    Many of us come to explore spirituality through hardship. Some come due to experiences that don’t “make sense” within proliferating frameworks about what is normal and acceptable. Some come to more deeply understand the nature of the mind. Some don’t come to spirituality at all, but rather it comes to us, and we are flung far from everything we’ve ever known about who we take ourselves to be. The spiritual path might follow certain developmental trends, but for each person it unfolds in a fresh, mysterious way.

    Bringing grounding, community, and warmth to our explorations can help us safely and bravely navigate the changes that can occur as we engage more deeply with our spiritual life. Spiritual exploration invites us to fully enter into our humanness and the myriad experiences, personality structures, limitations, gifts, and interconnections that accompany this life.

  • Trauma

    Trauma is the lasting emotional, cognitive, or physical response resulting from living through a distressing and painful event. For most people with trauma, the event is not singular, but might be a series of different compounding traumas over time. Trauma responses, such as isolation from relationships, frequent nervous system activation, and harsh self-criticism (to name a few), were all trying to help us at some point, but there comes a time when they are no longer needed for our survival and might be causing additional pain.

    Chances are, we were not seen, held, or responded to in the way we needed at the time of a trauma. We might experience continued pain from the traumatic events themselves, as well as the sense of aloneness and hopelessness we may have felt. We might feel confused about why we react to “little things,” or feel unable to connect with others or take action in the ways we wish.

    Trauma therapy builds a container of slowness and safety that, with time, allows us to reprocess and integrate the traumatic experiences of our lives. Even if we aren’t ready to turn towards the past, we can still explore practices that connect us with what is healthy, wise, and whole in us. Approaches such as somatic mindfulness, parts work, EMDR, compassionate inquiry, and other tools assist us in developing intimacy and peace inside.

Addiction Science

Addiction occurs due to a complex intersection of trauma, resources, social systems, and body chemistry. As we learn about the factors and pieces of our history that contribute to addiction, we can tend to the needs the addiction has thus far tried to manage.

Ancestry

Whether we know our lineage intimately or have been distanced from it through time, exploring ancestry can be a powerful tool in connecting to roots and shared belonging. Working with our familial and cultural history invites us to explore the “web” in which we exist. 

Approaches

Below is a (lengthy, yet non-exhaustive) window into the approaches and lenses we might use in our work together. Together we will create the blend and find the rhythm that works for you.


Attachment

Our early relationships play a large role in how we navigate all other relationships in our lives, especially our most intimate. Working with the attachment system offers the opportunity to explore safe, empowered, and connected relational strategies. 


Being With

Sometimes, there is nothing to “do” other than “be with” our experience. Learning to companion our emotions and sensations shifts our focus from fixing a problem to relaxing into the moment as it is. We all need companionship, and learning to offer it to ourselves is an important component of our well-being.

Enneagram

This system of personality and spiritual development helps us bring awareness and compassion to our humanness. We can use the enneagram to understand our internal patterning, find freedom from limiting internal structures, grow our gifts, and better understand and relate to others. 


Identity

We all hold many identities, including but not limited to gender, sexual orientation, race, citizenship, money, career, etc. Some identities feel like a fit for us, some do not, and some undergo massive shifts whether we want them to or not. Exploring how we and others relate to these identities helps us develop a deeper relationship to who we really are.

Nervous System Regulation

Many systems, such as Polyvagal theory and advances in neuroscience, lend insight into our mind-body connection. In learning about hyper and hypo arousal, as well as other nervous system responses, we learn to skillfully work with our own regulation and support the same in others.

Ritual

Culture is built on rituals. When we explore, design, or connect to rituals that are meaningful to us, we participate in a shared history of honoring thresholds, giving thanks, expressing grief, and more. We show up for our lives with intention and acknowledgement for the gifts and challenges of each day.

Developmental Frameworks

Through time, individuals and cultural wisdom have mapped out different frameworks for the inner journey. These can be applied to development in our careers, role as parents, spiritual or racial consciousness, or many other areas. Frameworks can provide considerations for roadmaps to our own growth.

Expressive Arts

All humans possess creativity in some form. Practices such as writing, singing, dancing, acting, design,  etc., can help us re-connect to our innate creativity and unleash a flow of freshness, meaning, and pleasure in our expression.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is the practice of bringing attention to the present moment, and it can be applied to every part of our daily lives. As we become more consciously aware of what happens in our own sensations, perceptions, and emotions, we enhance our mind-body connection. 



Parts Work

Most of us encounter a variety of different “parts” inside ourselves. They may be of differing ages, desires, or opinions. Identifying, forming a relationship with, and working with our parts offers the opportunity for more internal congruence, connection to self, and acknowledgement of the spectrum of our internal world.

Self Compassion

Self compassion isn’t limited to eating bonbons in the bathtub. Self-compassion means learning to offer permission and understanding to ourselves in the same way we might to a friend or child. The friendlier we learn to be  with ourselves, the more we can open to our gifts and extend compassion outward towards others.

Somatic Awareness

An emphasis on our body and physical sensations is a practice of being present and curious. Our bodies have much to share with us, but we might not know how to safely be with our sensations or how to listen inside. Building tools to connect to our bodies offers more connection to ourselves and, often, an enhanced range of expression.

EMDR

EMDR is an evidence-based, body-based modality  that can help us process unresolved traumas and triggers. It can also be used to build internal resources, support us for events in the future, and enhance the connection between our body, brain, and consciousness.

Family Systems

Families, even when small, are often complex systems. A systems approach to family helps us explore the interdependent relationships, expectations, values, unspoken “contracts,” and other phenomena that influence how we engage with our family structures and, often, with the broader world. 

Nature Connection

We are inextricable from the natural world around us, and we all participate in the design of life. Connecting to the natural world soothes our minds, bodies, and spirit and can help us connect to that which is more vast, more ancient, and more alive than we might always perceive. 



Play

Most children know how to play effortlessly, but as we age we might lose this ability, or feel that play is no longer allowed for us. When we play, we connect to spontaneity, creativity, and positive neurotransmitters in our brain and body that support health.


Social Justice

Our experience and conditioning is inextricable from the systems in which we live. We can explore the intersection of social locations, generational inheritance, overculture, and experiences of privilege and oppression to bring advocacy and authenticity to our experience. 


World Wisdom Tradition

Through millennia, humans have engaged in traditions, scholarship, and practices centered on the mysterious nature of being alive. These teachings connect us to others who have also been pondering the “big questions” and can help support and contextualize our own exploration. 


“If you surrendered to the air, you could ride it.” - Toni Morrison